Can a family member clean a grave marker? My uncle was interred in 1984 and the marker is very messy and not spit polish like my uncle, a career soldier, would have it.

You would have to talk to the staff and the VA more than likely.

Go to the Department of Veterans Affairs website at www.cem.va.gov/hmm/ which covers headstones, markers, and medallions in National Cemeteries. About halfway down the page there is a section that covers cleaning and caring for government headstones and markers. It has a link that sends you to a .PDF document that describes what to use, how to do it, etc. Even though it is a government document that covers headstones in all National Cemeteries, I would call and check for Arlington. Because of size, space, and significant importance it has stricter rules than all other National Cemeteries and may have a different process or may not allow it.

I myself don't know, that's something you might have to ask the staff