Do not be sorry too me. You did nothing wrong. I was hoping I could help but if not, I do hope you find and figure out what you are looking for. May GOD bless and keep you always.
My daughter's husband was a Marine, he was killed 6 years ago. She was blessed with 2 babies to raise alone. She has remained faithful to God and thou rocky at times she has continued with her walk with our Lord Jesus. Healing takes different times ... some chose to marry again while others don't. Biblically, a widow/widower is free to marry again, it's just up to each person if that's the Lord's will for them. I'm not sure of your circumstances but I would counsel against rushing into another relationship. Pray for God to reveal His will in this matter. I hope I've helped... in prayer for you. God bless and keep you.
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