Eagan Police Department

Dan Ebert

They don't seem to care much about crime.

Chuck Cheese

Most of the losers on this police force need some noogies. The EPD is a classic example of all the dorks from high school who couldn’t wait to graduate and then become a cop so they can finally feel like they’re important. Most of the male cops are 5’8” or shorter, but all of them have Napoleon Syndrome regardless of height. The female cops smell like Carrot Top’s armpits and they don’t understand basic math, but their IQ will make you think someone divided by zero when they were born. I think we should all start by defunding all Eagan donut shops. Everything stated in this review is fact based so none of it is up for debate. Long story short, the EPD is incompetent, unintelligent, they smell bad, and they don’t deserve to eat donuts. Do not feed the EPD, especially after midnight.

Concerned Parents

Caution: If you are a mandated reporter or victim of DV do NOT call Eagan PD EVER. Most male officers don’t properly investigate or communicate with dispatch and consistently take the abuser’s word over the crime Victim’s resulting in criminalization of the victims instead of the perp. They will protect the abuser NOT the children. The female officers are better educated and more neutral during Domestic cases but many of the male officers tend to be highly biased against victims of DV, clueless, or don’t care. If you call or reach out for help you will endanger your children more as there is a strong likelihood the reporting victim/caller will be criminalized and risk losing custody of your children to your abuser.

michael collins

The Egean police let the 5 children of 19000 Barepath get beaten by there father adam debing daily. He doesn't feed them during the day and will hit them if they are hungry. Meanwhile he is drunk all day. The police basically want to give this guy a medal for father of the year