Beth, the question is Broad. There are many different guns that could suit your needs. If you feel comfortable carrying a gun without a manual safety I would strongly suggest a Glock 19. It's a 9mm with minimal recoil. But if you feel more comfortable with a gun that has a manual safety I would suggest a Springfield 9 mm. Both of them are popular guns period and very reliable. Good luck
That's a broad question with lots of answers. What can you feel confident with. Non-lethal options such as a tazer have less legal implications. Better to take the carry class first and then ask yourself if you should carry after knowing the law and the fact that you'll be presumed guilty if you actually defend yourself. Maybe rent a couple at osseo gc first. LCP is good, I use a 380 SW bodyguard. Both fit small hands. If you can't use them without thinking too much, they are all worthless. Don't buy the wrong pistol first and then train. I made that mistake myself.
A tazer about 250
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